BLOWIN' UP YA OVARIES!

I’m so virile that my dick has it’s own dick

I impregnate women just by looking at them

In fact, any women reading this blog right now…you better go check yo’ muh fuckin’ shit, cause you’ve probably just been rustied…your welcome.

I ejaculate sperm the size of fish

With one sperm I can impregnate three women

If I ever die my balls have a half life of 20,000 years

I can interspecies impregnate, CAN YOU DO THAT SHIT! FUCK NO YOU CAN’T!  I can make cowpeople babies if I want to

I can get men pregnant.  You didn’t know that shit was even fucking possible did you?! Now you know.

My dick’s so hard it can punch through 3 cinder blocks.  IN A ROW!

My dick’s so hard I chop down trees with it

The Viagra commercial says “Call a doctor for an erection lasting more than 4 hours”,  my shit lasts for 48 hours NON STOP on a regular basis.

I ejaculate like a shotgun.  I'll blow yo' fuckin' ovaries, THE FUCK UP!

In the year 2356 female archaeologists will dig up a napkin with my sperm on it and instantly have a baby

My babies don’t wait no fuckin’ 9 months!    9 minutes!   BAM! BABY!  Fuckin’ done!