CUCKOO FOR CAT SHIT

There’s a lot of construction work going on in and around where I currently work.  They recently hit one of the sewer lines to our building, by accident.  This has left my fellow co-workers and I stuck with using Porta Potty’s for the foreseeable future.  In addition, it is hot as a cat’s cunt outside and the Porta Johns are becoming especially ripe as no one has changed them out in awhile.   Now, like most guys, I’m sure, or at least I hope, as I don’t want to be the only one out there, I take pride in the various places on this earth that I have masturbated.  In Bathrooms, in vehicles, in the forest, in a tool shed, up in a tree, in a McDonald’s deep freezer, etc.  The world is awash with my seed.  I’ll bet if you took a black light everywhere you went you’d be shocked at how much semen, not just mine, is on everything in this world.  Don’t look at me like that.  You don’t think that the mobile device in your hand right now, or the mouse you are moving has semen on it from the guy in the factory in Guangzhou, China that put it together?  You’re livin’ in a dream world, Neo. With the one child policy in China there is an imbalance of 120 boys born to every 100 girls (Schorn).  That means lots of guys that can look, but can’t touch; so they touch themselves instead; then your phone, mouse, or keyboard. So, since we all know you did NOT meticulously clean your phone when you purchased it; you now have a Chinese factory worker’s jizz on you, congratulations.  Back to what I was originally talking about; strange jack off locations.  So, I have a good view of the Stonehenge-like configuration of Porta Potties, from my office window, down there in the construction zone.  I say Stonehenge-like cause there are about ten shitters in a circle, facing outwards, I would assume it’s to facilitate maximum shitting efficiency from all angles of the worksite.  So, as I’m looking at the Potties I think to myself [ME1] “You know Rusty, you’ve never busted a nut in a Porta Potty before, have you?” [ME2] “No, Rusty, you know that’s right, I never have, good call.” [ME1] “Thanks, Rusty, shall we partake in a masturbatory session in the Porta Potty?” [ME2] “Oh, yes Rusty, that sounds delightful.”   So, I went down to the worksite, chose a suitable Shitter to utilize and shut the door.  I was immediately hit by the smell of blue Kool-Aid, gorgonzola cheese, burnt hair and of course shit.  Despite the smell, I whooped it out and started stroking, recalling women, animals, objects, etc., from my Jackabase (database from which you recall jack-offable pictures and/or scenarios).  Just before any images or scenarios had coalesced, in my mind for me to use, I looked down into the shit pit.  Down at the bottom, in a large pile, was a sunburst orange colored pile of shit that definitely was not human.  I concluded, while still stroking, that it could only be cat shit, as I have extensive knowledge of cat shit.  Then, while still stroking, I pondered as to how cat shit, and so much of it at that, got into a Port Potty in the middle of a construction site?  I imagined, while still stroking, that one of the workers who had to clean up stray cat shit around the site, finally got sick of it.  He gathered up all the stray cats, took them by the arm full to the Port Potties.  He then proceeded to squeeze there abdomens with both hands hard and fast.  The cats yelp “MRRRROOOOOWWW!!!” and it was over, the cat shits itself into the pit like a squeezed toothpaste tube, he tosses the now evacuated cat out the door to continue on with its day, and does the rest of them; no more work site clean up.  Still stroking, I conclude that that could be the only...only……only……….uuuunnnnngggghhhh…….uuuuuhhhhhh…uuuuuuuhh…the only way cat shit could have gotten into the shit pit, in a Porta Potty, on a construction site.  I think I just jacked off, in Porta Potty, to cat shit, that’s a first on top of a first, literally.  Does anybody have a tissue, this Potty’s all out! 

Sources:

1)      My memory

2)      Schorn, Daniel. China:Too Many Men. CBSnews.com. 2009. Web. (accessed

29AUG2011).