I’m so virile that my dick has it’s own dick
I impregnate women just by looking at them
In fact, any women reading this blog right now…you better go check yo’ muh fuckin’ shit, cause you’ve probably just been rustied…your welcome.
I ejaculate sperm the size of fish
With one sperm I can impregnate three women
If I ever die my balls have a half life of 20,000 years
I can interspecies impregnate, CAN YOU DO THAT SHIT! FUCK NO YOU CAN’T! I can make cowpeople babies if I want to
I can get men pregnant. You didn’t know that shit was even fucking possible did you?! Now you know.
My dick’s so hard it can punch through 3 cinder blocks. IN A ROW!
My dick’s so hard I chop down trees with it
The Viagra commercial says “Call a doctor for an erection lasting more than 4 hours”, my shit lasts for 48 hours NON STOP on a regular basis.
I ejaculate like a shotgun. I'll blow yo' fuckin' ovaries, THE FUCK UP!
In the year 2356 female archaeologists will dig up a napkin with my sperm on it and instantly have a baby
My babies don’t wait no fuckin’ 9 months! 9 minutes! BAM! BABY! Fuckin’ done!
