FOLLICULAR PHALLUS

I asked my Wife, the other day, “Honey, if instead of me having an amazing penis, as I do, what if it were, instead, nothing more than a giant hair follicle, would you still love me?” To which she replied, “Of course darling, I’ll love you no matter what your penis has become.”  Now that’s love, and it got me thinking… what if I DID have only one single hair follicle for a penis?  I’d say the dimensions, in order to be accurate, would have to be comparable to a Pringles can in girth and length.  Wouldn’t that be odd?  I’d ejaculate dandruff, it’d be like a New Years Eve party every time I busted a nut, like confetti exploding everywhere.  The more I stroked it the smoother it would get and whenever I put conditioner or mineral oil on it, PHEW! Look at that shine!  It’d give new meaning to the word “Fuller hair”.  The only foreseeable problem would be if I were to ever get lice.  If my follicle penis was that big you’d assume the lice would be equally huge.  Then I’d have to worry about these giant lice eating my cats or heaven forbid, attacking my child.  Oh man, we’d have a real problem then.  Good thing I take care of my hair.

Side note: The hair follicle would be one large one from the same type that is on my head, not like a giant pubic hair or anything, that’d be nasty.

Another side note: I'll bet you stared at that picture for awhile until you figured out what was going on.... it's okay, drink it in, it's good for you.