An underground epidemic is occurring that few, if any, people know about. It involves an insidiously addictive new drug, if you can call it that, which makes the crack epidemic of the 1980’s look like a frat house rufee party for naïve freshman college girls. The most prevalent targets of these addicts are older men; the older the better. The most prized of that demographic are the centenarians (those who have reached 100 years or above in age), and of those the most rare and highly prized are the super centenarians (humans having reach 110 years of age or older). Many elderly men, believe it or not, are facilitators of these addicts, and thus the catalysts for the rapid up-tick in addiction cases and violent crimes related to it. What is this new drug that is sweeping the Nation? If you’ve ever heard the joke “He’s so old that when he busts-a-nut, powder comes out!”, then you’re more apt than most to understand the dilemma. No one quite knows where it started but the urban myth runs along the lines of those propogated about the AIDS virus. For AIDS it was a “known fact” that a gay guy went to Africa, fucked a monkey that was infected with the virus, travelled back to the United States thus unleashing that plague upon everyone….thanks gay guy. Similarly, the gay community has “allegedly” contributed to this scourge that has befallen us as well. The urban myth goes that in a public bathroom in San Francisco one of the stalls had a hole drilled into the wall of it. This modification of course instantly converts it into a GLORY HOLE room. One day a young gay man, or straight man looking to validate his heterosexuality (see Post THE UNGAY BOYS, 9SEP2011), goes into the glory hole stall. A centenarian of 105 years old is in the stall next to him and inserts his penis through the hole. After 10 solid minutes the elderly mystery man’s cock is fully fellatiated and he ejaculates. Rather than a gelatinous mass permeated with spermatozoa the young man gets a mouth full poof of powderized man fertilizer. What, until that day in San Francisco, had yet to be discovered by the gay community, or heterosexuality curious community, is that powderized ejaculate creates an extremely euphoric effect in humans. Scientists do not yet know why powdered jizz has such a potent narcotic nature whereas normal gelatinous cum does nothing. The euphoric feeling is on par with or better than that of heroine, and the ultimate benefit is that it is, in theory, free. The demand for old man ejaculate shot through the roof. Highly addicted jizzheads began raiding retirement communities, nursing homes, bingo parlors, and VFW’s everywhere. Old men were being sucked off left and right. The fact that elderly men were likely to be on a fixed income did not help the situation as they were more and more likely to bust powdery nuts into young men’s mouths for extra cash. So many old men were being fellatio’d that they, literally, began running dry, no pun intended. So these young men began experimenting with other methods such as taking raw ejaculate from younger men, putting it in a spoon, heating it until it crystallized and then sniffing it. It worked, but as far as sniffing jizz goes it was the equivalent of smoking skunk weed vs. some sweet sticky-icky Kine bud. It just isn’t as good. This significant desire for “the older the berry the sweeter the jizz” product has created the equivalent of narco-bosses out of some super-centenarians. They have harems of the oldest fucks imaginable hopped up on cocktails of rufees (to keep them sedated) and Viagra (to keep them hard and producing). These super-centenarian drug lords milk their centenarian and sub-centenarian captives like cattle creating mounds of powderized ejaculate that sells for millions of dollars. The reason you haven’t heard of this is because who the fuck would be believe there are 110+ year old Scar Faces out there with Narco Sperm Empires. It’s usually dismissed as just another gay slander against elderly homosexuals and nothing more is said about it. I just wanted to make you all aware of it so your children, homosexual or not, do not succumb to this epidemic.
After Thought: Seeing as how everyone is looking for the next big high because the government keeps making everything except the pharmaceuticals they're selling illegal, it's actually pretty amazing that it took this long for people to figure out that powderized jizz gets you lifted. I suppose prior to this discovery the only things you did with jizz were swallow, spit, or dodge it. So, maybe it's not such a surprise it took this long after all.
After Thought: Seeing as how everyone is looking for the next big high because the government keeps making everything except the pharmaceuticals they're selling illegal, it's actually pretty amazing that it took this long for people to figure out that powderized jizz gets you lifted. I suppose prior to this discovery the only things you did with jizz were swallow, spit, or dodge it. So, maybe it's not such a surprise it took this long after all.
