INTERNET ANSWER FORUMS: THE YARDSTICK OF CIVILIZATION

Alright, I’m sure at some point in your life you’ve needed information about something and had to look it up on the internet.   Do you remember what you used to do before Google?  You’d ask your parents, go to the library and look it up or get advice from your friends that you trusted.  What do we have now?  We have Yahoo Answers, Google Answers, and all the other useless Answer forums out there.   Someone poses a question and a bunch of people post answers in response to that question.  The problem is that the majority of people that post are illiterate morons that throw up any baseless opinion as fact.   Here was the question posed, “Is distilled water better than sterilized water for your baby?”  Here are the responses:

IDIOT #1: “Oh shit, don’t use that distilled water shit, that shit’ll make yer kid go blind!”

ME: No it won’t retard.

IDIOT #2: “You should use regular tap water because it has fluoride in it and it’s good for your teeth.”

ME: Okay, maybe not for newborns and very young children and probably not in large doses but you're probably on the right track.  For those that say the flouride levels in tap water are bad for baby, it can’t be THAT bad.  I had tap water for everything when I was growing up and look at me, I’m sexy as fuck.  So,  this guy isn't really an idiot but I have a pattern going here so fuck off.  I’ll buy that answer…okay..moving on.

IDIOT #3: “You should never use tap water cause your kid’s IQ will rapidly drop and stay down!”

ME: I’m not making this shit up, I swear.  Okay, first off, you are off topic.  It’s sterilized verses distilled, but I understand you are probably responding to idiot #2, which you shouldn't have as IDIOT#2 is infinitely smarter than you are.  I imagine, by the ejaculated nature of your response about the tap water, that you are completely sure of your answer.  What I am positive of, however, is that you have not researched that in any way, and either heard it in passing, and because you’re a retard, took it as fact, or saw it on some bottled water commercial.  If the latter is the case you are an even bigger idiot as you, not only, do not research anything and take things at face value but you allow biased advertisements, whose job it is to dissuade you from tap water to make bottled water sound good, determine your decision making.  Do me and every other person in the country a favor and don’t vote in this next election.

IDIOT #4:  Sterilized water is better because they evaporate it and it condenses on the other end and is really pure because you don’t get the pollutants.

ME: First off, copy/pasting from Wikipedia doesn’t make it correct or you smart.  I thought for a moment that this person had a clue and had just accidentally added "sterilized water" in place of distilled water, which is what he is actually describing, but I don’t like his condescending tone, therefore…. MORON!!   

IDIOT #5: “You should use distilled water because the amount of plastic bottles that sterilized water comes in just ends up on our beaches and in our oceans, harming the environment.”

ME: So do the plastic bottles that distilled water comes in dipshit! Here’s a tip…..of a knife! Go kill yourself!

IDIOT#6:  “You shouldn’t use distilled water cause it can make your kids go blind.”

ME: Hey you illiterate fuck, didn’t you read IDIOT #1's response to the original question.  Way to propagate the myth that distilled water blinds children by the millions, you Fuck.  I guess the grocery stores haven’t caught onto that fact yet. It's terrifying that I could walk into the local supermarket right now and find a shelf with distilled water peppered amongst bottles of sterilized water!  HOLY SHIT! DO SOMETHING! You might grab the distilled water by accident as the only indicator is the sticker on the front that is pink for distilled and blue for sterilized!

IDIOT#7: “You should only get water that is from fresh sources like mountain streams, glacier water, or springs as it tastes better and is better for you.”

ME: IS IT NOW?  How bout municipal sources like triple filtered shit water from your toilet? Cause guess what? That’s where your “Glacial stream” water is coming from.  It’s just called GLACIAL STREAM, the fact that it says “Bottled in Detroit” should tell you something.  Besides, I’ll submit that municipal sources are better for you than your serine mountain stream.   So I’m drinking from a stream that at the top of the mountain deer, moose, owls, and sasquatches have all been pissing and shitting in.  That sasquatch shit water comes down off the mountain and flows into the stagnant algae filled pond that you siphon from.  Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t like Sasquatch piss so I think I’ll go with the over chlorinated, fluorinated and fifty times filtrated municipal water.

This isn’t even close to all of the responses but I figured I’d give you a sample.  It is my opinion that the Google,Yahoo, and other answer forums on the internet are the yardstick of civilization.  The better and more factually accurate responses on those answer forums; the more educated and competent our country’s citizens are becoming.  As for right now…..I think we’re fucked!