PATTERNS 1

When you take a shower, and soap yourself up, do have a particular pattern you follow?  Seriously, don’t gimme that, “Oh, here we go” look.  Think about it.  Next time you’re in the shower think about how you wipe yourself down.  Do you go face, behind the ear lobes, armpits, chest, stomach, butt crack, nuts and/or vag, legs then feet?  Do you skip the legs altogether?  Do you do ass crack then go “SHIT” cause then you have to go to the face next cause you forgot to?  What if you’ve got mud butt?  Do you use your soapy fingers like they are a rake and your feces are your neighbor’s autumn leaves that are all over your lawn?  What’s your pattern?  I’m an ass to face kinda guy.  I dunno why, I don’t plan on doing it, it just happens.  If I have to scrub mud butt, I then have to scrub my finger tips with the soap bar, afterwards, in some vain attempt to clean them.  I never wash my legs, fuck um’.  I sometimes wash my feet.  Never ever wash my back…I probably have dirt on there from when I was 15 years old.  My hair?  If I give a fuck.  However, I DO always use my apricot scrub and then Aveeno pore cleanser on my face, no matter what. Gotta take care of myself you know.   What’s your pattern?

PNEUMATIC EROTICA Pt.1

I have been considering that I may not, at some point, be as virile as I am now.  In the future there may come a time, possibly around 117 years old, that my kibbles and bits may not work like they used to.  So, I have taken the only logical step… I am going to preempt this possible assault, of age, on my manhood by upgrading myself ahead of time.  Next month, I plan on having my penis removed, put into a jar and cryogenically frozen as a backup cock.  Then, I will have a pneumatic penis installed in it’s place.  There are several models to choose from.  I want the best, so I’m going with the “Platinum Pussy Puncturer” model.  It’s quite an extensive surgery, but definitely worth it.  I will have to have my genitalia completely removed, my groin area carved out, and intestines and whatnot shoved up into my higher abdomen to make room for the (MCP) MotorController/Pnuematics assembly.  This is a stainless steel box that houses the motor, servo controllers, power supply, air cylinder, actuation valves, etc.  Once the box is installed, the surgeons will seal me back up leaving only a stainless steel nub sticking out where my penis once was.  I will have extra pubic hair added that is supplied from my ass hair to cover the scar and for a fuller mane of pubes to express my manliness.  Now, back to the stainless steel nub; this will be used as a quick disconnect for various attachments.  These accoutrements include such well known pneumatic devices as: THE SHITHOLE SMASHER, THE ANAL ANNIHILATOR, THE CUNT COERCER, THE VAGINAL VIOLATOR, THE CAREBEAR, THE HYDRA, and many more.  If you’ve never heard of those attachments, or are new to the realm of Pneumatic Erotica, stay tuned.  I plan on having continued updates where you will learn more about (PE) Pneumatic Erotica and how my preparations for the surgery are going.