Late night text conversation between Me and my buddy Hobart.
Rusty [10:42] Hey can you bring your laptop for Tuesday's seminar. Also, you need to come out of the closet already...
Hobart: [10:43] I can do that… And for your information I am out of the closet…
Rusty [10:44] LOL, Bout time!!!
Hobart [10:45] I followed your lead.
Rusty [10:51] I’ve lead you to the promise land. Now u can blow, suck and fuck all over the place with no attachments. Plus you’ll get rich cause all gay guys are rich like that guy in the movie “The Jackal” that Bruce Willis meets at the club, seduces, kisses, eats his Chinese food, and shoots in the chest.
Hobart [10:52] Are you saying I’m gonna get shot in the chest? Or catch shots in the mouth?
Rusty [10:54] I’m gonna coat ur tonsils in man milk and then kick u six feet deep in ur chest to make u swallow it.
Hobart [10:55] Well the joke’s on you because I would have swallowed it any way…
Rusty [11:00] Actually, the joke is on u because I have the rare talent of reverse ejaculation. I can create a vacuum in my scrotum and my penis goes from shooting to sucking like a shop vac! Uh Oh, somebody just got their jizz back! Nice try, fag!
Hobart [11:02] I’m not the fag.. You’re the one who is fantasizing about me sucking your dick!
Rusty [11:02] It isn’t fantasizing it’s predicting.
Hobart [11:03] This year’s South American Humanitarian Society conference will be fun with both of us there.
Rusty [11:07] Won’t be there gay boy u’ll have to suck Thomas’ fat little Vienna sausage dick instead.
Hobart [11:08] Where will you be?
Rusty [11:09] At your uncle’s house.
Hobart [11:10] I don’t have an Uncle…
Rusty [11:12] Then who the hell’s house am I at right now? He said he was ur Uncle and he was gonna comp me a free massage because I knew u. That’s why I’m naked sitting in a kiddie pool full of KY.
Hobart[11:13] Fag.
Hobart [11:14] If it was my Uncle it would be astro glyde… The preferred anal sex lube.
Rusty [11:17] I was on welfare before the job that I’m in now, so food stamps only bought me jars of cold coagulated turkey fat that I had to preheat and inject into my ass. Life was tough back then I wasn't gonna let the man keep me down, a real G's gotta live life to the fullest u know what I’m sayin’…?
Hobart [11:27] Does that mean you love me?
Rusty [11:29] U complete me. We’re like the Wonder Twins, we can’t transform into the form of a refrigerator, teacup, or a pterodactyl until we touch penis tips.
Hobart [11:33] When can this happen, I’m game!
Rusty [11:35] I got a half chub right now just need the go ahead.
Hobart [11:36] Go.
Rusty [11:36] I’m already there.
Hobart [11:39] I’m cumming on you.
Rusty [11:40] Doesn’t feel like it, but I’ll take ur word for it… oh wait.. oh, okay, there it is, ah shit right in my eye!
Hobart [11:42] Quit being a bitch and take it.
Rusty [11:44] Now my eye is gonna be red all day, fuck u, I’m outta here.
Hobart [11:45] Love you…
Rusty [11:46] Love you too..
Hobart [11:47] Fag..
