FUGLY FAMILY TREE PEDIGREE

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INADEQUATE ADAM

Adam gets picked on at work cause he’s a loser

Harry, a coworker, doesn’t have that problem because he’s not a loser

Adam messes up his paperwork sometimes and says the wrong things trying to be funny and fit in but it back fires and he gets scolded.

Harry is always on top of his paperwork and says the right things at the right time and is the life of the party

Adam stays late trying to catch up on work that he just can’t seem to get right

Harry takes off half day almost every day cause he likes to surf and wants to catch the tide

Adam goes home to a nagging wife that hates him cause he is so-so in bed and is generally a miserable human being

Harry is an awesome human being who goes home to a smokin’ hot wife who likes threesomes and used to be a porn star

Adam, at least, had his dog that loved him, until it got swooped up by a falcon then dropped from ten stories high down onto another dog, killing them both, and he’s now being sued over that.

Harry owns three prize winning show dogs and, unbeknownst to him, his lawyer is the one who is suing Adam over the falcon dog drop incident.

Adam just got demoted in his job due to corporate cutbacks designed to save the company money

Harry, on the other hand, just got promoted because his porn star wife got her stripper friends to give the boss and his buddies free lap dances.

Adam bought a filet knife and a sewing kit

Harry bought a Porsche and a new set of double EE breast implants for his wife

Adam killed Harry in the parking lot and took his body home

Harry got his skinned peeled off him like a fish and sewn into a full body suit

Adam is no longer Inadequate Adam; He’s Harry.